Here’s a question/test. Can you walk away when you're bad at something? Does it bother you if you aren’t good at it? Sure, we would all like to be good at lots of things but what I’m asking is something different. When you’re not good at something does it feel like it really gets under your skin and there’s no way you can just walk away? If you answered yes, you can walk away, then that’s alright. Strength comes in all forms. Sometimes it takes the most strength to walk away from something you know is not working out. But if you answered no, then that means you’ve found your interest, maybe even passion in life…..
I modeled this question after my own experiences. Right now I’m a biology major and I’m fairly certain that I didn’t really choose the right major. Don’t get me wrong, I like bio, the environment, being outside, and all that stuff. However, I’ve come to realize there’s a difference between liking something and having a passion for it. There’s a difference between studying something and getting a job in it. See, with science you have to take lots of math and chemistry courses. You have to write papers scientifically, something which you science majors know takes practice. I’m not that great at it but that doesn’t bother me. I can walk away from it. If you truly like something shouldn’t you want to get better? That’s how I came up with the first answer to the question above. Here’s the second one.
I always liked drawing. I was drawn to drawing you could say. I liked it but didn’t think I was good enough. I would get so mad at myself because at the time, I thought being an artist was all about drawing from your head-the thing I couldn’t do. Another thing I couldn’t do, but so desperately wanted, was to draw people. There’s just something about creating that life like illusion on paper! Making the unreal seem real fascinates me. I tried, but I could not draw people realistically. I remember watching cop shows and getting so jealous of the sketch artists renditions of the criminals. I envied what they were able to do. I would get so frustrated because I loved drawing but didn’t see the results I wanted. I didn’t fit into the “artist” role so I would get fed up and quit drawing. But I always went back to it after a while. This cycle happened over and over until one day in college when it completely ended. I look at that day as one of the highlights of college. That might seem like a dramatic statement to you. And that’s exactly how I feel; it was a dramatic moment for me.
I was in the part of the cycle where I picked up drawing again. I was kind of depressed that I wasn’t "talented" in my passion. So like anyone in today's world, I turned to Google for my questions. I asked (once and for all) whether you needed talent to be an artist. I wasn’t expecting to find anything but did. I came across this article that talked about art myths. One of the myths was that you needed talent to be an artist. The article stated talent is really an overrated thing. It went on to say that if you truly believed you had no talent whatsoever, then you wouldn’t have any desire to paint, draw, etc. That was like a slap in the face to me. I realized that deep down I believed in myself. I guess I just needed some positive reinforcement to shed away the layers of doubt. I needed to forget about that nasty word called talent. The article ended by saying talent will only get you so far; it’s the systematic learning paired with desire that gets you places. At that instant, it was like my battery went from dead to fully charged. I had that spark and was ready set fire! I finally got out of the damaging thought that being artistic is inherently based on talent.
From that moment on, I believed if I just took the right class, or found the right book then that would be my key. I was going to make this happen! So I eagerly began my search looking for online classes and websites. I found a few good sites but they weren’t the site. Days later, still with my newly acquired positive attitude and still looking for instructional material, a thought occurred to me. If drawing is more of a skill like they say, then I should be able to learn what I've always wanted to do: portraits. At this point in time I pushed the possibility of ever drawing people to the back of my mind. It seemed like a huge mountain to climb but i was ready. With my “fully charged battery” I saw things differently and let this desire I once had, resurface. So that was the next thing I Googled: learn to draw people. I was nervous when it did it . It sounds weird to admit but I guess I was afraid of not being able to succeed. Of being forced to walk away.
I eventually found this website that ended up being the game changer. Here this guy had amazing portraits of famous people that you recognized. They were so good and of course I was jealous! Then I read his biography section he said he couldn’t always draw like this. He even went as far as to say that he couldn’t even draw a straight line before getting this book. He gave all this praise about how this one book taught him to draw like this. He urgently encouraged his readers to check it out and directed people to an Amazon link. I checked it out and it seemed like a good book-perhaps the one I had been searching for. I previewed the book and saw before and after pictures of people’s portraits. They had the same drawings of pictures before studying the book and drawings from after they studied the book. It was truly a 180 degree difference. I was so amazed and bought the book immediately.
Let me just tell you that book was amazing and that guy wasn’t lying. It was just the thing I had been searching for.
I studied the book and before I knew it, I had completed a portrait. I remember that moment so clearly too. I took a sec and soaked it in. I accomplished the one thing that I've always wanted to do but thought I never would. My eyes got a little watery because it just felt so good to reach what felt like an impossible goal. It’s a powerful feeling. I wish I could just bottle it up and give it to people. That’s why it absolutely kills me when people look at drawings and say they could never do that. It kills me because I know that isn’t true. I was there at the same place you were. I couldn’t and thought that I never wouldn't but I did and now I can! And so can you! If you have the desire then you CAN do it. And if you still don’t believe me? Well, I guess there’s no hope for you because it’s like you going outside and saying the sky isn’t blue.
That story fits in with the second answer to the question because I could not walk away from drawing. I kept coming back to it even when I was bad at it. Even though I didn't have the skills I wanted, I still liked to draw.
I know this was a long blog and I thank you for reading it. This is something I’m passionate about. It’s like having a treasure map and figuring out where the treasure is! You just want to share your excitement with people and tell them where they can find their own treasure. I often think about how I would love nothing more than to take someone under my wing and teach them to draw. To guide them and lead them to experience the same things I felt. It’s an awesome feeling, so I'm telling you, go out and find that treasure!
