What Goes Through my Mind During a Bad Mood

Sometimes I get tired of that person who no matter what you do nothing is ever right. Once they put a label on you, that’s it. There’s no changing it. You will probably never shine your light in their eyes. If you do, they won’t see it for what it is cause they have a big LABEL covering up their eyes.

Another thing, parents shouldn’t force their kids to switch their writing hands. So what if they’re a lefty or righty? Let them naturally go with what they choose. What, are you gonna be all proud and mighty that you made them switch AFTER you mess their brains up? Yeah, that’s right, switching from your natural hand makes you dumber. I looked it up myself. A study was done and they found that less gray or white matter was found in people who were forced to switch hands. They were also found to have less focus. Gee, Sounds like me.

Either me or my sister was supposed to be left handed but our Dad made us switch. Of course he doesn’t remember who it was. Personally, I think it’s me. Why do I say this? Well, I hate math with a passion, check. I display more of the right brain characteristics, check. Oh, and I feel stupider than the people around me, check. Oh wait, am I just using this as an excuse…. "Oh she is just feeling sorry for herself and is just blaming it on the whole left brain thing and being forced to switch.” Well, SORRY if it annoys you. Is it so bad that I’m looking for an answer for why I feel like this? For why I constantly feel like I’m not making par….even when I try my best?

I’m just discovering that I’m easily discouraged at times. It’s no wonder I procrastinate sometimes because I just remember to those times where I put my failures behind me and I go in with a fresh attitude and I try my best and I still get the same old results…still fall down. So why try when you KNOW how it’s gonna end up? Why put up with being hopeful and optimistic and having it crushed when you find out you failed? Why go thru that extra pain; why not just go in expecting the worse cause that’s what’s gonna happen anyway. This way you won’t experience that sinking feeling.

You know sometimes I just want to do something or have something great happen to me so I can be the one bragging for a change. You know? No one likes a bragger but aren’t most of us are kind of envious of him in a way? Sometimes you just get tired of it and have a breaking point. You’re tired of waiting or trying to remain positive. You just want to give up sometimes…..but can’t. I can’t at least. It’s kind of annoying at times but I guess I’m glad overall. Maybe it is the internal optimism of the Sagittarius. I don’t know, but I’m glad it’s there. Sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps me going, the only thing that gets me through. I don’t know if I can adequately describe it but it feels like I have this little tiny flame inside me. And no matter how windy it gets, no matter how bad I fail, it doesn’t go out and I never lose all hope(even though I may verbally express otherwise.) The flame, it may waiver back and forth and look like it might go out, but it never does. I guess now that I think about it, it’s kinda like the Thousand Foot Krutch song, The Flame in all of us. (youtube video at end of page)
Right now the flame is wavering but I know it will get stronger.